Tag Archives: Letting Go

So We Danced in the Parking Lot

As I enter my 18th year of teaching Nia, I do so without having a studio to teach weekly classes.

To catch you up if you haven’t had the pleasure of receiving my newsletters (which you can easily subscribe to if you look to the right) . . .

The studio I taught in for nine years closed in December with a week’s notice; the next studio I found was temporary and will be torn down when permits are finally acquired; and the day after I signed a contract in April with the Ballet Academy, I received an email saying it was closing in June . . .

I have heard that God never closes one door without opening another, but three closed doors in six month? I am paying attention.

As you may imagine, it’s a reflective time and I sense the universe has plans for me that haven’t yet been revealed! I am curious, open, and trusting.

There are plans for me to teach in Austria this fall and I have just returned from the east coast where I taught Nia in two beautiful studios in central Virginia. So I know I will continue to teach across the globe. What will happen locally? I really have no idea.

I am now settling into a “routine” without teaching three classes each week (which has been what I have done since I began teaching Nia in 1999). As you might suspect, there is some sadness that comes up for me.

But I must also tell you that I am still grinning when I think of the last Nia class we had on Saturday morning, June 11 at the Ballet Academy in Edmonds.

Here’s what happened:

When I arrived at the studio, the door was locked.  But that didn’t stop us–there was a parking lot right there!

It seems Michelle has a great sound system in her car. Since we didn’t have the right iPod cord to connect to her car, I searched the CD stash in my car and found one marked “Nia.” I had no idea what was on it but it proved to be the perfect mix for dancing in the streets! Michelle moved her car into a horizontal position, inserted the CD, opened the car doors, turned up the volume, and we danced with JOY! Thank you to Michelle and to the delightful group of 12 Nia students who came to dance. I’ll never forget it! Until we dance again . . . my heart is forever grateful.

If you find a locked door or a door closing unexpectedly, what do you do? I’d love to hear it. Please feel free to comment here or over on my Nia With Susan Tate Facebook page!

 

Letting Go

Dalai Quote

It had once been my nature to cling ferociously to the belief that I was powerful enough to change the thinking of family members, friends, and even entire university committees. I am mighty powerful—but not in that way. I know that my true power comes from honestly and compassionately speaking my truth with integrity, kindness, and compassion and then letting go of the outcome. And it’s especially important to let go of the outcome. Pain has always resulted when I got in there and tried to force that oversized round peg into a very small square hole.

Trusting (rather than hoping) that things will unfold with ease in a way that is best for all involved will help as you prepare to truly let go. You may want to consider replacing the word hope with the word trust. Hope often implies something we wish might happen in the future. Trust can be a more optimistic and affirming way toward creating a specific result. And sometimes, it’s appropriate to really, really hope.

A real lesson in trusting and letting go came when my father was living his last few years of life with Alzheimer’s disease. My dear, rational, calm, clear thinking dad would tell me stories of flying boxcars that took him to work (and back) and he would tell me that wherever he landed, his bed would be right there too! The first time he told me this, I felt like my heart was bleeding tears. I felt desperate to bring him back into my reality. “Dad,” I softly pleaded, “You know that part of your brain that isn’t always connecting quite right? Well, that’s what’s happening now and that story isn’t really true.” I thought I was controlling the situation quite nicely. What an illusion!

When I let go and realized that his reality was his reality and totally different from mine, I began to find peace. I let go—and met him where he was, not where I wanted him to be. On one of our last walks together, I said, “Dad, tell me more about the boxcar with wings.” His face lit up as he described how this unique train took off and landed so smoothly and how much fun it was to ride it. Dad had been a railroad engineer so the added speed created by the airplane wings must have been quite a delight for him! And my delight came when I was able to let go and be with him right where he was. For a while after his death, I spent time wishing I had met him there sooner. Now I know I did the best I could at the time. I know he knows it too.

Anthropologist Ralph Blum said, “Relinquishing control is the ultimate challenge for the spiritual warrior.” We have a choice to cling to thoughts and beliefs that keep us stuck, in pain or in the illusion of control—or, we can let go, and let God handle the details. It’s your choice.

–Excerpt from chapter 18 “Letting Go” in my book: Wellness Wisdom: 31 Ways to Nourish Your Mind, Body, & Spirit

How about you? Are you ready to let go of a thought, belief, or situation that no longer serves you? I’d love to hear from you. And may you feel the peace that comes from letting go . . .

 

Making the Four Agreements Your Energy Allies

the.four_.agreements.ruiz_

I was introduced to Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, in 1999 at my very first Nia intensive training. In Nia, we are encouraged to use these agreements as “Energy Allies,” not only our practice–but in our daily lives.* They have worked so well for me over the years so I thought I would share them here for you! And, oh yes, I actually think there are FIVE agreements — you’ll find I’ve added one.

*The day I posted this (6/29/15) I received a lovely email response to this piece from Nia co-creator, Debbie Rosas. She reminded me that these agreements spring from the ancient wisdom of shamans. She wrote, “The origin of these came to Carlos and I before the book was written. They are ancient made modern.” Thank you, Debbie, for wrapping Nia in the sacred cloak of these principles! They have added so much peace to my life.

The Four Agreements (+1!)

1.  Be Impeccable with Your Word

Your word is powerful and sacred. Impeccable is defined as “in accordance with the highest standards of propriety; faultless.” I think of this concept as being honest, kind, and succinct way to speak. Choosing to be impeccable with your word is a mindful choice.

Think and speak loving words. I understand this agreement includes our self-talk and how we keep the agreements we make with ourselves. My self-talk no longer includes things like, “Oh, Susan, you are so stupid!” My body/mind would hear that and respond accordingly!

What part of your professional or personal life would be energized if you decided to shine more light on the power and impeccability of your words? See the resource section below for Tate’s 10 Tips for Being Impeccable With the Word.

2.  Don’t Take Anything Personally

Release any sense of self-pity or self-importance. Somewhere I heard that an unexpected “NO” to a request might result in NO = New Opportunity. Ruiz says, “Nothing other people do is because of YOU. It is because of themselves.”  Oh, how I have found this to be true! Clearly, sometimes it’s quite a challenge to not take something personally. In the times I have found myself starting to feel hurt or offended by someone’s words or actions,  I have been able to shift the painful energy immediately into peace if I am aware enough to remember this agreement. It’s such a choice, but we have to remember to make it!

3. Make No Assumptions

Making assumptions, especially if you assume the worst, can sometimes dim your light and deplete your energy. If you can note and then minimize your inner dialogue you will probably feel better.

Honoring this agreement helped me to stop making up unsettling stories about what people might be thinking about me or something I did. Years ago, after I shared a concern about “what will people think?” to one of my dear friends, her pragmatic and loving reply stopped me in my tracks.  “Susan, people don’t really think about you that much!”  I laughed so hard and felt such relief!

Can you recall the last time you made an assumption and spent all that time in your head and it wasn’t fun at all? Next time you can make up a better story!   

4. Always Do Your Best

Do the best you can at the time with what you have to work with.  A year from now, your best will look different than today, and that’s okay! Lovingly observe yourself to assess whether you are doing your best. In Nia we call this the “Loving Witness.” My friend calls it being an “Observette!”

Trust yourself and take action.

Changes that are forced into being
are always temporary.
But changes that are loved into being are permanent.

~Louise Hay

5.  Be the Place Where Love Shows Up

This is the agreement I added to Ruiz’s list and I must admit, it’s my favorite. This energy ally is the connective tissue that holds a sacred container for all the others.

When your actions are motivated by love,
your energy multiplies and accumulates.
~Deepak Chopra

Amen to that, Deepak! Now doesn’t that make you want to be the place where love shows up?

In your work life, love what you do as you provide any kind of service. I have met people who cleaned the floors where I worked who offered a loving light and kindness while they pushed the mop. They might appear to be from the maintenance department, but to me, they were sparks of love making our work place look and feel more beautiful.

One of the best quotes I’ve ever read about love (I have shared this at the wedding ceremonies I have been honored to officiate) sums up this fifth agreement:

LOVE
You are not meant to search for it,
You are not meant to wait for it,
You are meant to generate it.
~Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith

Whatever task is ours to do at the time, we can choose to do it with loving kindness and service. When in doubt, ask: What would love do now?

Thank you for creating time to read this post. I’d love to hear how these energy allies light up your life!

 

RESOURCE LINKS

Tate’s 10 Tips for Being Impeccable With the Word

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

 

 

 

 

 

8 (Free) Wellness Video Resources for You

Here is a sampling of my favorite wellness videos and meditations. I wanted to share some of the exciting research and offerings that are emerging in the areas of science and spirit. Just click on the titles you find appealing and enjoy!

For the past five years I have become fascinated by the study of epigenetics–the concept (now scientifically proven) that our genes DO NOT predict our destiny. You’ll also be able to tap into (did I really write that?) a few tapping videos (Emotional Freedom Techniques) that can be so supportive in healing the subconscious thoughts that often rule our everyday actions. If you haven’t experienced this technique yet, Nick and Jessica Ortner provide a loving introduction.

The first video on the list is a profoundly powerful “letting go of old stuff” meditation by Tosha Silver. No need to watch it, just listen to the 10-minute audio when you want to experience some sweet peace.

You’ll note that I put the length of the video by the title, so you can decide when to sit back and how long of a wellness break you’d like to take to enjoy this information and inspiration. You will know what to watch and when.

Healing Meditation for Letting Things Go (9:45) 
Tosha Silver’s 10-minute meditation (Very healing and tenderly powerful–I have listened to this over 20 times.)

Tapping Meditation for Financial Anxiety & Overwhelm with Jessica Ortner (15:58)
This one made me cry big the first time–okay, and maybe the second time too!

email-quoteBruce Lipton, Ph.D.  A very powerful video from the 2011 Tapping World Summit (34:22)
Dr. Bruce Lipton, is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. I love his work (and I have a crush on this man’s brain!!!). I have read all of his best-selling books: The Biology of Belief, Spontaneous Evolution, and The Honeymoon Effect.

Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. Epigenetics: The science of Human Empowerment (42:40)
If you want to go deeper into looking at epigenetics, (our DNA is not our destiny–our thoughts and beliefs override our genes . . . ) you will enjoy this presentation. “Our health is not controlled by genetics,” states Dr. Lipton.

Dr. Christiane Northrup on Graceful Aging – Interviewed by Jessica Ortner (39:19)
In this interview, Dr. Northrup talks about aging gracefully, how tapping reduces cortisol levels to create weight loss, and trusting the sacred processes of our bodies. To watch the video, you will need to provide your first name and email address.

Louise Hay on Tapping – Interviewed by Nick Ortner  (19:52)
If you respect the work of Louise Hay, you will love this very touching video. One of my favorite lines is when she says, “In order to clean your house you have to see the dirt first!”

Embodying The Four Immeasurables with Dr. Mario Martinez
(almost 2 hours but worth every second)
This is such a healing body of work. He adds to the research of epigentics with his studies on what he calls “cultural portals.” It seems our cultural beliefs are far more powerful than our biology. If you have old, deep childhood wounds that need some healing salve, this may be helpful.

Ho'oponoponobutton
Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Meditation (7:01)

If you have any forgiveness work to do . . . the resources and video on this page may be of tender support.