Where are you supposed to be?

Last June I was walking along the Edmonds Beach in Washington as I frequently did during the 16 years I lived close to the Puget Sound.

As I walked, I was reflecting about the fact that four Nia studios had closed behind me in the past six months and I was clearly feeling like God was trying to tell me something but I wasn’t quite sure what!

I was praying quite fervently as I stepped off the little footbridge on the dock by the marina. With tears in my eyes, I looked up and was mentally pleading with the Divine as I asked, “Where am I supposed to be????”

Five steps later (literally) I looked over to my right and spotted the map I’ve walked by hundreds of times. The red dot in the center leapt out at me as my eyes were drawn to the words, “You are here.” I laughed out loud.

Okay, okay, I can take a hint! Live in the present moment and all that stuff I’d been practicing began to pour over me. “You are here.” How simple. I guess that’s where I was supposed to be.

My pondering angst melted as my steps got perky again and I kept moving forward. And, I kept moving forward. SO forward that in December I ended up moving back to the Charlottesville, Virginia area where we raised our kids in the 80s and 90s. The children are no longer here and have children of their own and live pretty far away. So I didn’t move back here for family, I guess I moved back here for me.

Some of you may know that I had felt “called” out to Seattle. I moved there from Charlottesville in 2000, leaving so many people I loved, and a position at the University of Virginia that I was passionate about and thriving in–but I followed the nudging of my soul and packed all the memories and shipped them out to the other coast.

I loved my 16 years in Seattle! I thought I’d live there forever, whatever forever is. So I was a bit surprised that pretty soon after that walk on the beach, I “got the calling” to move back (or forward?) to Virginia.

I love it here (again)! But the transition hasn’t always been easy. The many facets of my work seem to have been tossed into the air. It feels like I’m starting over here, but I brought my 46 years of work experiences and my passions with me.

I miss my friends in Seattle. And I am blessed to be re-connecting with old friends here, while making new friends here too.

I miss my children and grandchildren W A Y more here than I did in Seattle so that part kinda sucks. What is THAT about? Could it be that as I sit on my deck looking out at the Blue Ridge Mountains, if I look left a bit, I can see Buck Mountain in Free Union. We lived just across the field from the base of that mountain many years ago. Memories abound.

A quick note – When I moved here, I had temporary housing in a sweet furnished “med student apartment” on the terrace level in the home of some dear friends. They lived in a beautiful house in the woods. I loved it there for so many reasons. But, I missed having my own “stuff” around me and I need more room and my own place.

After being second in line for four very cool little cottages in the country, I happened upon the place where I live now. Somehow, every time I didn’t get the place I thought I wanted, I stayed quite present to it all and didn’t fret. Okay, I did fret a bit here and there, but truly, I had such a belief that I would find just the right place—and I did. I am now renting a beautiful, light-filled, very sweet carriage house on a 100 acre farm not too far from town. There is much love and kindness all around me. I am truly here.

When I take walks or drive through the countryside, I find I am appreciating the surrounding beauty even more than when I lived here before. Maybe because I have more time to be present to it?

It feels like a new, poignant chapter in life has begun. Many of my friends here have already retired or are about to do so. “Retirement” just isn’t in my vocabulary. “Rejuvenation” is. I plan to do my wellness work until well into my 90s. It feels like I’m just getting started. I’m not talking about working a 40 hour week, but I’m planning to continue doing what I’ve done since I started my own wellness business after I moved to the Seattle. I want to teach Nia until I’m 90 and then renegotiate and maybe go to 100 if I feel like it. I want to present and share and inspire wellness through presentations and life coaching and I want to write more books. I want to sell vitamins to those who are a good match for the ones I offer through my product partner, USANA Health Sciences. I want to continue to hold a loving space for people to “marry themselves” as I support them in planning their ceremony and being their wedding officiant.

I want to, as Ram Dass stated so purely, “Be here now.”

So when I ask myself, “Where am I supposed to be?” I am here.

Where are you?